There is always a "baby mother" behind "Mombao Men"?


There is always a "baby mother" behind "Mombao Men"?

1 "Tangle" in the "childhood" life or marriage in the child, there is no main see; when you take my mother, I will take my mother to block the arrow. "What is my mother saying, how is my mother? Do not leave the word "mother"; no matter whether it is wrong or not, it always obeys the mother’s meaning; the spirit is not independent, and the psychology relies on the mother … Experts believe that the focus of "Mao Bao" is "Mother" – Mother in Family There is no border consciousness in life, "crossing the world" in the life: from a drink, dress, dressing, extracurricular activities to interest, dating or even life development, once children face problems, like helicopters generally "hover" in children "Childmother" will "push down", control and even intervene everything. In the relationship between "Mao Bao" and "Child Mom", his son is overprotected by excessive protection of life, and has a lot of mature characteristics such as low life or mental childcare; "Children" is keen to have one The child "always grows" will give children excessive supervision and care to prove that they are even a mother or even a female value. Education scholars, writers Yin Jianli wrote in the book "The most beautiful education" book, the first task of maternal love is intimate with the child, cares for children to grow; the second task is to separate and promote children independence. If the mother is doing the order, it is to do a anti-nature, let the child’s childhood poor, but also suffocate the children’s adult life. For the "Mamao Men" and "Child Mom" ??this malformed mother and child relationship, the psychological counselor Wu Zhihong believes that the sensation of the "Wu Xie Yujun’s mother case" is extreme case.

He called this relationship as "symbiotic strand", that is, in a parent-child relationship, intimate relationship, because of the lack of boundary awareness, both interdependent and mutual harm.

2 "Childmother" behind the scenes, the modern spirit analysis psychologist Eric Flom believes: "The true nature of maternal love is to care about the growth of the child, that is, I hope that the child is separated from himself." Yin Jianli said, mother It must be tolerated and must be desirable and support for children to separate themselves. At this stage, maternal love has become a task to difficulties, it requires selflessness and requires everything. Some mothers have failed to complete the mission of maternal love, and individuals, families and society have more helpful to push the formation of "Children". "The first is personal factor. The common feature of ‘Children’ ‘is the mother’s role that has passed the other roles of women." Chen Hao, professor, Professor, Professor, Chinese Academy of Sciences, said that such women’s desire and feelings are not through their own life, It is achieved and satisfied by children. They also have a bias to their mother’s character, and they don’t know that children and themselves are independent, and individuals with each other have been in the state of their dependence.

"Child Mom" ??will even rationalize this behavior – not I don’t want to let go, but the child can ink me. In fact, the feeling of being needed is the source of the mother’s sense of value. Another important factor comes from home relationships.

The lack of father’s role is an important factor in the family that appears in "Mombao". There is a saying of the West, one is born twice, the first time I came to the world as a baby, the second time I got a love and marriage, I used the power of love to heal my childhood trauma, and re-established a family through the power of love. . Therefore, the "Dinghai God Needle" of the family relationship should be a couple relationship.

At this point, some families in China have not been good: Once there is a child, the important order in the family has changed rapidly, and the child became the core of the family, and the mother and child relationship became the core of the family.

Wu Zhihong believes that, if the husband’s psychological function is better, he will pass the communication between husband and wife, think of to deal with this change; contrary, he feels abandoned, will "escape". In this way, the mother and child further form a "alliance", weaken the existence and authority of the father by criticism or ignoring, and the father’s role is excluded from the communication interaction between the two. In addition, there are many social factors in the emergence of "children". Relationship psychologist Hu Shenzhi said that after each parent-child relationship, there have a shadow of the previous generation.

Due to historical reasons such as Chinese social development, the parent-child relationship is not very concerned about and pays attention.

"Children" cultivated "Mombao" because they may be the victim of the previous generation model, but since it is difficult to realize the problem, the first generation of psychological trauma is transmitted to the next generation.

3 Complete a "depleted exit" Yin Jianli believes that strong mother love is not a long-lasting manager, but should be a decent exit.

To reduce or prevent this phenomenon, you must first face "separation".

Yin Jianli believes that the so-called "separation" is not given away from the love of children, but the way to adjust care.

"Growth and separation can be understood as the main secondary description of the same thing, the growth is the change of the child, the separation is the adjustment of the importance of the role to be made around this change. Mother’s participation of children Gradually decreasing, the role range is narrowed, so that the life of the child can take the space in the life. "Second is to make good use" attention ". In family education, the mother’s excessive concern is a typical thing about "wanting to love, but".

Experts believe that the key to pay attention to the child is to grasp the better, establish a borderful parent-child relationship, truly recognize the child from the heart, even if the experience and ability is not enough to have independent personality.

At the same time, it should be more concerned as a mother.

"The best demonstration to your child is to have your own social role." The third is to let the parents share the responsibility of the teaching. Parents need to cooperate with each other to prevent one identity from being missing. When the child needs to complete the psychological separation with the mother, the very important value of the father’s role is to support the parent-child relationship, so that it can achieve a stable and harmonious parent-child atmosphere, construct a healthy and stable family triangle relationship. Original title: "" Mombao Men "behind a" children "."